Battling Anxiety/The Best of Me

Author at Foreign Native’s June Open Mic at Estate Farms

I am not the same Jordan most people knew. I am a completely new version; new scars, new wounds, new healing to go through. This new Jordan suffers from severe anxiety and depression; it is hard for him to eat and sleep, it’s hard for him to trust people who don’t actively practice being in community with him. honestly paranoia makes it hard to believe anyone or anything — outside of consistent action. I know I am going to show up for the People every day, I just am much more intentional on who I am allowing to enter my vulnerable space. I don’t believe that I am acting weird at all either — I think that I am trying my best to heal and grow while continuing to give my all to all of the responsibilities I have. In short — I am trying my best; sometimes I fuck up but dammit if I ain’t trying.

I have done nothing but try my best to be the teacher I, as a student, always needed. A teacher that empowers students, specifically Afrikan/Black students. I don’t think I am any better than my students — they are just as great as me; we are great because it is who we are. The only way to teach them that is by being myself at all times; to show them that being genuine, authentic and real still is what holds the utmost value to our People. That has led to constant harassment throughout my career; but time and time again I have been reminded just how powerful God is. God and the Ancestors have protected…